Aloha Mr. Hand

Greetings from Aruba!

Look I know that all of you have been wondering where I've been recently and worried that I may be in sort sort of trouble. I thank you for your concern, but I'm OK. Better than OK. I'm in a place where the beer flows like wine. Where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. I'm talking about a little place called Aruba. So far I've been unable to find any baseball cards.

What I have been able to find is 90 degree heat, wind, $5 11oz. cans of Balashi beer, the occasional margarita, and a few fruity, panzy foo-foo drinks that for some reason gave me a stomach ache.

I've been largely unable to keep up with the current baseball happenings. I do catch an occasional score on a TV in a casino, however. And last night the breaking news on ESPN was that "Roger Goodell hopes to talk to Brett Farve on thurday". I'm crappin' you negative. That was the breaking news. That two guys may or may not have a conversation about something.

I also see that the Tigers have traded Ivan Rodriguez for Kyle Farnsworth. I know nothing about this trade other than that it has happened. I haven't looked anything up and know next to nothing about what either of these players are doing this year, what they are making, and when they are free agents. That, however, will not stop me from giving my opinion on the matter.

1. Are you freakin' kidding me Tigers? Why in the world would you give up an all star catcher to help out the Yankees? The Yankees are in a terrible spot at catcher and you help then out? Really? It would serve you right if you met them in the playoffs and Pudge hit a walk off in game 7.
2. For Kyle Freakin' Farnsworth? I know you need bullpen help but wasn't Farnsworth was the best you could do? For Pudge? I haven't seen the stats but I'm pretty sure Kyle is a dude who gives up the occasional long ball. I'm fact, I hate the Yankees, but it would be funny if Pudge hit that HR off Farnsworth.
3. It's almost like Costanza is still working for the Yankees and he came up with this trade (similar to the Griffey Jr for Bernie Williams idea). And the Tigers said "OK...sounds good to us"
4. I think the Tigers GM should be immediately fired for helping the Yankees and made to watch a marathon of Olson Twins movies.

Anyway, I''m going to get back to the beach. The weather and the water are beautiful. The scenery is pretty nice too. Over all, it's not much different than Cleveland.

Aloha means goodbye.