Please, pay close attention. Turn off the TV. Turn off the radio. Don't go anywhere near ESPN.com. And, for God's sake don't look at any of the links on the right side.
I'm willing to trade Manny Ramirez. That's right, this is your golden opportunity to make your fantasy team a real playoff contender. Against my better judgement I am now fielding any and all offers for this incredible player who is taking the league by storm once again.
Just send me your offers immediately and I'll pick the best one. Even if you think I would never go for it, send it to me anyway. You might be surprised what I'd be willing to accept.
Do nothing else before you do this. Stay far away from any news source, actually, any TV, computer, Iphone, Blackberry, or cellphone. They may only cloud your judgement.
Some of you may think I'm crazy. "Why would he want to trade this spectacular player?" you are probably thinking. 2 reasons. 1 - I just love to make trades. 2 - I'm horrible at fantasy. This is your opportunity to take advantage of me.
Just look at Manny there. He's showing you how close you are to locking up the league. I'll be monitoring your offers as they come pouring in.
Thank you.
Hahahahaha
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