Technical Difficulties

I know that posts have been sparse recently and I just wanted to let everyone who may be a little depressed, a little down in the dumps because they haven't gotten their fix of ACB that there is a reason for the lack of high quality entertainment spewing forth gloriously from this site.

It's all my wife's fault.

AS some of you may remember, my wife is expecting our first child whom I'll affectionately refer to as "Little Larry". Little Larry was behaving marvelously up until last Friday when he decided to start becoming the little pain in the ass that I'm sure I deserve due to all of the pain in the assery that I engaged in as a youth. He figured that the world sounded so wonderful he wanted to get out early and take a quick look around. My theory is Little Larry is a dog lover and wants to see just who in the heck is making all of that noise every time another dog walks by on the sidewalk. Problem is his arrival is set for early December.

So, my wife has been in the hospital to get things back to normal. Everything looks good. She is doing well and hopefully will be home tomorrow. But she will be on bed rest. This situation will leave me in charge of, well, everything. This may not be the best idea since I'm about as capable of running a household as Clark Griswold is of planning and executing a vacation. I do however, plan to rise to the challenge and surprise the hell out of everyone, mother-in-law included.

All of this is just to tell you that posts will be sporadic due to the fact that, in our crazy western culture, wives and children remain more important than baseball cards.

I want to let everyone know that I've received a few packages lately that are unbelievably awesome. Just phenomenal. I will get posts up about them as soon as I have enough time to do them justice. I'll start with a thank you right here, with more to come, hopefully within the next week.

I also have found another player to add to the "Gold Tooth Mafia", so I'm very excited about that too.

I'm not trying to raise any alarms. Everything does look OK. Just wanted to explain the drop off in posts. I'll be around occasionally to leave my usual, ridiculously nonsensical, and completely unfunny comments.

Peace Out Mofos.

The Long Trip to the Middle

It's been a long season for the Tribe. Starting with great promise and high expectations, this season went from a ton of injuries, to difficult trades, to a surprising late surge and featured crap in the bed throughout.

The last few days have featured the return of some of our favorite players. Hafner hit a monstrous HR the other night. Victor Martinez returned and hit a walk off a few days ago. And, the Tribe has won 5 straight to climb back to the mystical land of .500. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think we would see that this year, so I am happy. I just can't look back and think about what could have been.

We won tonight with the help of newly minted Cleveland Legend Shin-Soo Choo. In September he has hit .448 with 17 RBIs. No too shabby. AND, more importantly, his last name lends itself to the awesome "Chooooooooooooooo" from the crowd when he comes to the plate. Always a good time. Every team should have one of those.

I can's help but think things look pretty good for next year. We can't have the same amount of bad luck that we had this year. The Tribe reached 77-77 today. 8 games left. A decent chance to finish over .500, which is nice.

I'm not overwhelmed, I'm not underwhelmed either. I guess I'm just completely whelmed right now.

Yeah.

Mark It Zero Smokey

HAS THE WHOLE WORLD GONE CRAZY!? AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES!?


While trolling around ebay looking for game used and autos of Indians players I ran across one of Gellman's favorite kinds of sellers. It's the first time that an auction I was interested in was advertising a 1/1 when it clearly was not. I decided to fire off a question to the seller to see what his justification would be. Here is that exchange. (My misspelling included in the interest of full disclosure)


Me: "This item is no more a 1/1 than a 7/9 would be. Why is it advertized as a 1/1 in the description?"


Seller: "I DIDN'T MAKE THE RULES, THAT THE WAY CARDS THAT ARE THE FIRST ONE MADE,OR THE LAST ONE MADE ARE CONSIDERED. FOR SOME REASON THESE TWO CARDS ARE MORE SOUGHT AFTER. M.C.M."

So there you have it. We can all stop complaining about sellers calling cards 1/1 when they are not. IT'S THE RULES!

MARK IT 1/1 GELLMAN!

My Dog...

...looks kick ass in her sunglasses.

Just thought I'd let you know.

A Bad Day

I've been writing this post for the last hour. I just keep erasing it. Nothing comes out right. I give up. I'll just try to sum it up:

Keep your chins up Buckeyes. We love you guys.

I know how you feel Jim.

Great Scott!

As in Great Scott Lewis debut last night. Former Buckeye and current Tribesman Scott Lewis saw his first major league action last night. He looked awesome. 8 innings of 3 hit ball. No runs given up. Masa K. did his best to try to give up a 7 run lead but was unable to overcome that challenge. So Scott Lewis becomes the latest, greatest prospect for the Indians.

Like myself, Scott is a product of The Ohio State University. Drafted in the 3rd round in 2004 despite the fact that he had Tommy John surgery while at OSU in 2003. They said at the time that he had 1st round talent. I was skeptical of drafting someone coming of that surgery but it seems to be working out so far, if last night is any indication.

I like Scott Lewis and am excited for him. He wasn't supposed to make it past AA this season, but here he is, putting together a fantastic debut. It's a bonus for me having a Buckeye make good in the majors. We have no trouble on the football end, but as far as pro baseball players, Nick Swisher is the only other I'm aware of.

So here is Scott's 2006 Bowman Chrome RC. I'm not sure what other cards have been produced. It isn't much yet, according to Beckett. Like any good Clevelander, I figure he will probably make it 3 Cy Young's in a row next year. Savior of the franchise. Who needs C.C. anyway, right? We have Great Scott Lewis.

You know those morons that get overly excited about one game and go to ebay and overpay for cards? Yeah that's me. Do me a favor and stay away for a few weeks. Let me get mine first. I call dibs.

The Subhelmet Hat Alliance: Dion James

I like beer. All kinds of beer. Some more than others, but as a general rule, I’ll drink pretty much any beer. I may even be willing to give Genny Cream Ale another shot. Genny Cream Ale was the first beer I ever drank and it was years of wine coolers (I know) before I was able to wander back to the land of men from the land of pansies.

When I’m out among friends it’s usually the typical bud light/ miller lite type stuff. You can have 1, 2, or 14 of those no problem. But they aren’t among my favorites. There are some beers that I’m not too fond of that others seem to like. Heineken (although Heineken Light is pretty good), Rolling Rock, and Yuengling are among them. For some reason my father in law, a great guy, has gotten it into his head that I like Heineken. So I get to drink that while he drinks Coors. I’d much rather have a Coors but I don’t have the heart to tell him after so long. Yuengling, if you haven’t heard of it, is “America’s Oldest Brewery”. You’d think they would have figured it out by now. The only thing I can figure that these beers have in common is that they are either in a green bottle or they are brewed in Pennsylvania. I don’t know if it’s the stench of Pittsburgh or what, but PA beer sucks, Iron City Beer being just about the most putrid shit I’ve ever tasted. But they seem to like it there. Hey, whatever floats you boat.

Now, I’ll list a few great beers, or rather breweries. First is Bells from Kalamazoo Mich. As much as I dislike the land up north, this is fantastic beer. I haven’t had one that I didn’t think was excellent. Try the Amber Ale or the Kalamazoo Stout; two ends of the spectrum.



The best brewery in the USA is Great Lakes Brewing Co. I’m crappin’ you negative, and it’s not just because I live in Cleveland. They make some of the best beer I’ve ever had anywhere, period. Around December they release their Christmas Ale. It is so good they ran out last year. People where buying up cases wherever they could find them. The easiest place to get it was on eBay but you had to pay twice as much. I highly recommend you try it.










My favorite beer for a long time has been Corsendonk. I’ve been drinking it when I can for a long time now. It used to be something that was hard to find, but now it’s fairly prevalent. It’s brewed in Belgium by monks, supposedly. I’ll tell you what, those monks know how to brew it, man. Just fantastic stuff. Pick up some Abbey Brown in the big bottle with the cork. You won’t regret it.

“Why the hell” you are asking yourself “is this idiot blathering on about beer?” Well, I’ll tell you. It’s because of Guinness. Everyone loves Guinness. Guinness has those cool cans. Everyone drinks Guinness draft. Guinness, Guinness, Guinness. I’m about the only guy I know that doesn’t like Guinness.

“GET TO THE DAMN POINT”

OK. Keep your pants on Susie. Because everyone likes Guinness except me; because it always looks good; because it’s not bad if you’re doing a car bomb; every year or two I try it again, convinced that I’ll finally be able to taste what everyone else tastes. I should like it. So I order a Guinness…and I still don’t like it.






That, in a nutshell, is the career of Dion James, second member of the Subhelmet Hat Alliance. Coming into the league he was a first round draft pick of the Brewers in 1980. He was in their organization for a while and even showed some promise, but never really lived up to the Brewers expectations. They didn’t really like him. He got traded to Atlanta for Brad Komminsk in ’87. The Braves thought he looked good enough to give up a decent player for him. But after 2.5 years the Braves decided that they didn’t really like him either. Cleveland, in ’89 thought “Dion James looks good” and traded another pretty good player for him in Oddibe McDowell.

Well, after a little over a year the Tribe had tried Dion James and didn’t like him. He was released. The Yankees thought “Hey, this guy’s alright” and signed him in ’92. Then released him in ’93. Then tried him again in ’95. Then released him again in ’95.

The Expos got in on it. “This guy SHOULD be good”. They released him in 1 month. The Yankees gave him ANOTHER shot. Released him in 1 month.

Dion James came full circle with the Brewers in June of ’96. They released him in 3 weeks. Baseball as a whole had finally come to the point that I have come to with Guinness. They were done fuckin’ around with Dion James. I’m done fuckin’ around with Guinness. What the hell took either of us so long, I’ll never know.

So here is Dion James in all of his sub helmet hat glory. Look at the separation on that thing. It’s fantastic. The best one I’ve run across. I doubt that this look is what got Dion James released all of those times. But, it sure as hell couldn’t have helped.

Adventures on Baseball-Reference

Recently I've taken to spending some time just screwing around on Baseball Reference.com. It's a fantastic site. If you like baseball you probably like statistics, and this site is basically just a bottomless pit of numbers. It's about as close to heaven as a bottomless pit can get. I can spend hours there looking at nothing but Indians stats.




Recently, I realized that it was possible to sponsor one of these pages. It seems kind of stupid now because its right there at the middle of the page for all to see. I just never looked at it and SAW it until the time I went and actually looked for it. This was very exciting news to me. How great was it going to be for me to be able to sponsor Ernie Camacho? How much could it possibly be? $10? $25? Then I get there and find this. Neil Schaublin? Who the hell is Neil Schaublin? Who the fuck does this guy think he is? 2nd favorite player? This is a travesty. This guy gets to sponsor Ernie's page all the while declaring his devotion to David Delluci. On Ernie's own page no less. This is wrong. IT'S WRONG!!

I had images of Ernie Camacho checking out his baseball page and seeing that it is sponsored by a lifelong fan. He might even click on the name and check out the blog. Heck, he may even shoot me an email to invite me for a beer next time he's in town. I may have ended up being bff with Ernie Camacho. But no, it's been ruined by some A-hole named Neil who has to put Enrie through the indignity of playing second fiddle to David freakin' Delluci ON ERNIE'S OWN PAGE! If that's not a kick in the nuts I don't know what is.

Well, as I surfed around in my Neil induced depression I happened across the page that lists the opening day starters. As I've said, I'm a lifelong Tribe fan. I've been to countless games. I'm not an authority, but I do know my fair share of Tribe trivia and history. Look at that. There's good old Julio Franco at SS from '83 - '87. I always liked Julio. He had a great stance. Great fun to mimic when I was a kid playing ball with my friends. Wait. What's this? Julio was a starter for us in '96 and '97? When did this happen? How do I not remember this? He played 112 games and hit .322 in '96, a season following a World Series appearance no less, and I have absolutely no recollection of Julio Franco being on those mid 90's teams. I'm sure it will come back to me at some point, but right now I'm crushed. I thought I was a fan. How the heck can I forget something like this.

And I sink further into my Ernie Camach page funk. I need something, man. I need something to pull me out of this.



Let's take a look at Grady's page. I love Sizemore. He's great. He plays hard. He plays the way I wish I would have played, and the way I hope my son will play. I doubt I'd sponsor his page. It probably costs more than I can justify. But let's see who is sponsoring it, just for shit's and giggles. Jimmy Shaarda. OK. He's got something nice to say. No problem there. Let's click on his name and check out his site. ....the fuck is this?

God bless you Jimmy Shaarda.

Sweet Redemption

Last night I busted a box of 07 SP Authentic. It was a good time and I like the set. I think I like the SP Rookie Edition better, though. It is more interesting to look at and is much cheaper. I guess Authentic costs more due to the better pulls. I figured I'd share with you what I got.


This is the first signature card I got and it is by far the thickest damn card I've ever seen. Don't know much about Matt Cain but his stats look pretty good on baseball reference. I guess the point is to collect all of the letters and then display them in a row. Descent idea. I wonder if the /40 means there are 40 cards for each letter or 40 cards total? Either way, I've got nothing against Cain, but this card will probably end up on ebay when I figure out how that whole thing works.




The second "pull" is Andy Laroche. This is a By The Letter Rookie Sig, which is apparently slightly different. I spent the first 5 minutes after pulling this card trying to figure out why I keep thinking his name is Adam. Don't worry, I figured it out. The crazy thing is they're now BOTH on the Pirates. Does the back of their uniforms have both first and last names?

This card too will probably end up on ebay. I've got neither the time, nor the desire to track down the 3 other cards required for Matt Cain, much less the longer Adam ...err... Andy LaRoche.

Now, make a Jarrod Saltalamacchia and that's just ridiculous enough to try. Not that I feel strongly about Jarrod one way or the other. I just think you would get a tremendous feeling of satisfaction from completing something of that magnitude. Don't you?







The most exciting thing I came across was my second redemption card ever pulled. The first was from '94 Pinnacle and would have been Rob Nen. I barely missed the cutoff by 13 years so my collection remains Nen-less, as far as 94 Pinnacle goes. Oh well.

This Authentic card does sound pretty sweet. It's a /75 Chirography Duel Sig of Hanley Ramirez and Stephen Drew. I've looked up other Chiropraphy cards and they look pretty nice. Mine should have one of the most exciting young players in the game, a cornerstone around which you can build an entire franchise for years to come. AND, some guy named Ramirez. I hear he has potential as well.

I went straight online and put in the code. It said it should take 12-16 weeks. This one, I think I'll keep for a while as it will probably be the best card I have. You know, aside from Chuck Finley playing air guitar bat.

Chuck Kitaen Rocks Out

I was opening up a few packs that I have and ran across this card of Chuck Finley. It's from the best set produced by Pinnacle Select in 1994....1994 Pinnacle Select. I have nothing against Chuck Finley at all. I just thought it was funny. I mean, the dude's playing air guitar. Did this used to be cool and I just forgot?

This obviously begs the question "What is Chuck Finley listening too" My guess is that it's this.

No matter what you think of Chuck, he was married to the Whitesnake/Bachelor Party chick. And, if you're my age, you remember her as one of the all time smoking hot chicks. In my world Tawny Kitaen doesn't exist after 1988.

Also, can you believe how awesome that song STILL is?