Here's A Card

Anything to get Pink Beardy off of the front page there so he's not staring at me every time I open my blog.

So here's a card.

And, with Cory Snyder you got no complaints.

Beardy Trims His Beard

I stumbled across this picture of Beardy before he grew out his beard. Always an Orioles fan, you can see that he's all decked out for the game.

Looking Good Beardy!

OK, that's not Beardy, nor is it anyone in his family (I don't think). I wish like hell that it was, but it's not. I just ran across it at HCwDB and the first thing I thought of was Beardy. I couldn't stop laughing.

It's probably just me.

Stale Gum Contest

Inspired by Beardy, I've decided to dust off the old photoshop skills to enter the National Chicle Parody Card Contest over at Stale Gum (It's this whole other blog).

Without any rational explanation, "Chicle" is actually the name of a baseball card set coming out in 2010. It is apparently a fun little retro-themed set where they take one player's card and put another player's name on it.

It's really fun, and easy to do.

Here's mine:

Look. You can hardly tell. In fact, the only way that you'd know that this isn't an actual card of the Mick is when you realize that he never played for the Tribe. On the other hand, that's apparently the entire point of the set. Nothing makes sense!!!

You're damn right I used three exclamation points!

This is fun as all get out. I'll probably even make a few more.

Admit it...at first you thought it was Mantle, didn't you?

Going Costanza (mostly)

Oh Captain My Captain is having a contest or something. The rules are pretty vague and hard to follow. It's something to do with football, picking the winner to the playoffs or something. Since he pretty much called me out I had to oblige and answer.

I pretty much made a fool of myself in Canuck's Fantasy League this year. I came in dead last, which was the worst thing that could have happened. The second worst thing would have been to have Beardy win, and he damn near did. That's the kind of stuff that happens to you when you draft Ladainian Tomlinson in the first round. I can't even remember who I took in the second but I'm sure he sucked too.

So the plan was to really show Canuck and the rest of them. I was going to research the hell out of it and really come up with a fool proof prediction for the playoffs. El Capitan definitely gave everyone enough time.

The problem is I never did it. I remembered this morning (at work) that I hadn't made my picks yet. I knew the games started at 4 but I didn't even know who played in the first game. I gave some guy with a toothache 3.4 cc 2% lido with epi and ran to the computer (I'm trying to impress everyone with my doctor talk) to make my pick.

It was right then that I settled on a fool proof plan. I was going to go Costanza. If my every football instinct is wrong, then the opposite would be right. I felt very strongly that the Jets would win so I put in my pick...Bengals FTW!

I didn't have enough time to make the rest of my picks right then so I promised to pick them as soon as I got home from work. I ran back to the op, put my foot on the guys chest, and started cranking with everything I had... invigorated with my foolproof plan for glory.

As soon as I got home, right at the scheduled start time, I ran in the house and booted my lovely wife from the computer. I noticed that Canuck had closed the contest but had left a spot open just for me. (Those Canadians are so nice) He's seen me in action and probably figured that it wouldn't make any difference either way if he still let me pick. I can't say I blame him. I really crapped the bed in that league.

But he didn't count on me going Costanza.

What I did was just pick every team that I thought would lose. This was very hard in a lot of cases as, like most American men, I figure I know more about football than just about anyone on the planet.

There are 2 picks where I just couldn't do it. The second round AFC picks. As a Cleveland man I have no stakes in the playoffs. So, naturally, I'll pretty much pull for whoever I pick here. Without the Yinzers in the playoffs I had only 2 teams to worry about. Baltimore and Cincy. I hate them both.

I don't think either of them will win in the first round, but I forced myself to pick them anyway. I just couldn't do it in the second round. If they are still playing in the second round I couldn't bring myself to root for them. Wouldn't it be a hell of a thing if that was my undoing?

All of my other picks were Costanza picks.

You laugh, but I've definitely had worse idea's than this one.

NFC:
Philly over Dallas
Arizona over Green Bay

Philly over New Orleans
Arizona over Minny

Philly over Arizona

AFC:
Cincy over NY
Baltimore over New England

San Diego over Baltimore
Indy over Cincy

San Diego over Indy

Super Bowl:
San Diego over Philly

Total pts: 51

For the record, my picks were in before the start of the first game.

*******UPDATE*******

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that after two games I've been mathematically eliminated. Thanks a lot George.

Don't worry about me. I'm in Cleveland. We're used to this kind of stuff.

Achiever Card Blog In The New Year

In true Achiever Card Blog fashion I am here to wish everyone a wonderful holiday and a merry new year...on Jan6th. You know, after all of that has long since passed. Despite all evidence to the contrary I plan to continue this blog for the foreseeable future. There may be some changes. I'll try to describe some of them here. There also may be some changes that I have yet to think about and, therefore, would be unable to describe at this juncture.

I haven't been around much lately and unlike my other many hiatuses, this is not due to laziness. Well, not mostly due to laziness. As many of you know, I'm a dentist. At the end of the year there are many people who show up in the last 2 weeks and expect you to do all of the work that they should have been getting done the entire year. There isn't a lot of time to dick around on the computer.

Also at the end of this year, my wife, who is a prosthodontist (a dentist who specializes in really difficult and complex cases) is buying her own practice. Which means that I'm buying a practice (along with working at my regular office). This stuff takes up a lot more time than you'd think. All of this during Christmas which as you all know is normally a very relaxing and laid back time of the year.

Then, there was the 2 days I lost to The Road by Cormac McCarthy. I'm not saying that I spent 2 days reading it. I'm saying that after I read it I spent 2 days in a darkened corner of my basement weeping softly while curled into the fetal position. It is without a doubt the bleakest thing I've ever read.

It is awesome. I definitely recommend it. It's one of those books that you will find yourself thinking about constantly.

Without giving anything important away, it is about a man and his son trying to survive in the most terrifying post-apocalyptic world I've ever imagined. Seriously, John Connor would long for the robots and Mad Max would just off himself. Thunderdome is like Space Mountain compared to this.

A few things to expect are these:

• Not all posts will be about baseball cards. Because it's hard to post at work about cards for me, I might just throw up some random thoughts that have nothing to do with anything because they are hilarious. At least that's what my wife says. "Oh motherscratcher, you're so funny. can you clean the garage?" "Jeez that's great! You're a genius. Why don't you run to the store and pick up the things on this list." "I can't believe how lucky I am to be married to such a funny guy. Can you get up and feed Grady so I can sleep in a little longer funny man?"
• I plan on a contest or 2
• I might try a group break
• I have a plan for a custom set. I've been thinking about it a lot. My photoshop skills aren't good enough so I might throw myself on the mercy of the Beardy for a little help.
• Other great stuff I haven't thought of yet.

I know there is no way for me to post once a day. It just won't happen. My goal is 3 times a week. I really should be able to handle that.

And also, I plan to try to leave more comments on all of your blogs because...well...who doesn't love comments?

We'll see how it goes.

Buckeye's Win!

The Rose Bowl is over. The Buckeyes won. Elation (and a huge sigh of relief) washes over the entire Buckeyes fan base. And Stusigpi owes me a box of cards. Good times abound in Cleveland.

In my last post I (without his prior knowledge) forced Stusigpi (I Am Joe Collector) into a bet that, with benefit of hindsight, was somewhat unrealistic. If I had taken the time to consider it, I surely would have realized that Jeff would very unlikely be able send me an anti-government militia following a Buckeye's Rose Bowl Victory. This in no small part is due to the fact that most of those militias are probably in Washington. Despite Oregon's close proximity to it's northern (slightly deranged) neighbor, the fact remains that it's a whole other state.

Jeff, being the intelligent lawyer that he is, saw the folly of my original proposal, and counterproposed a more realistic "box of cards" wager. He did this in the midst of a post whose main purpose was to mock the idiots (myself incuded) who insist on calling Ohio State THE Ohio State University. No matter, it is a tradition that we will continue despite the fact that none of us actually know WHY we do it.

(I can never figure out which pictures will be big and which ones really small)

As you all know by now, the Buckeyes emerged victorious against a very good Oregon Ducks team. This will go a little way toward restoring some of the respectability that the Buckeyes and Big Ten have lost the last few years. Some of the criticism is deserved, and some isn't.

Jim Tressel has taken a lot of heat for not being able to win bowl games, and big games in general. There are a lot of places to read about this in more depth and detail than I can provide. I will simply offer a few thoughts:

Jim Tressel is now 4-3 in BCS Bowls. The 3 losses occurred at the hands of teams that finished 1,1, and 2 in the nation. I don't know. I guess I just don't see why people think that's so terrible.

(damn, another tiny picture)

As for the game, I will say simply that the Ducks are damn fast. I think they are a national title contender next season. I think the Buckeyes (who were able to keep up...barely) will also be in that picture. It would be fun to see a rematch for all the marbles next year.

Terrelle Pryor finally looked like the type of player deserving of the hype he received in high school. He doesn't look like he is moving fast (not like that LaMichael James kid - holy crap is that kid fast) but he must be. All season he seems to be half a step ahead of anyone pursuing him. And, he finally learned how to pass. He looked in control, less panicky than he has at any other time in his career.

He looked like a QB. I really good QB. It was a hell of a thing to watch for someone who has seen every snap, good or bad, that he has taken in his college career.

The game ended on a high note as LeGarrette Blount didn't sucker punch anyone in the face.

Now I just await my prize.

Or, we can wait until next year in the National Title game and go double or nothing.

Rose Bowl

Well, it's a new year. My plans last year for a post a day have failed miserably. I enter this year with a new resolve not to fall so drastically short of my goals. This year my goal is a post a month. I feel like there is a good chance I can meet, or even slightly exceed this goal.

Because this is supposedly primarily a baseball card blog, I will kick off the new year by talking about football.

The Rose Bowl is today. Ohio State v Oregon. Or, more widely known as Motherscratcher v Stusigpi (AKA I Am Joe Collector)

That's right, Stusigpi is from the Pacific Northwest. Way out Oregon way. I will assume (for the purposes of this ridiculous post) that he is a die hard Oregon fan. Here is where I'd make fun of him for having a Donald Duck mascot, but I'm a Buckeye nut so I'll just let that one slide. Forget I mentioned it.

When Jeff and I first met over the ether he said: "I hold a special place in my soul for the dislike of a few college football programs." And then he lumps us in with Nebraska and Florida State. Can you imagine? We probably pay our players twice as much as those schools combined.

And Oregon? They spend their money on uniforms.

And Cheerleaders:

We might have The Best Damn Band In The Land. But, Oregon definitely has the best cheerleaders.

Since our inauspicious introduction, I feel like I may have turned Jeff's image of Buckeye fans (well deserved in many respects) around somewhat. Maybe instead of reserving a special place of dislike in his soul we've moved closer to the bowel or possibly the armpit. I'd take that. Baby steps, you know.

But anyway, in a few short hours the Buckeyes will rumble into Pasedena for the first time since 1997 and take on a Ducks team that is likely more talented. The Buckeyes haven't seen the likes of their offense, but the Ducks haven't seen the likes of our defense either. It should be entertaining.

No mention on whether Tressel intends to deploy the Dick Chaney Defense at any point.

If we were mayors of our respective towns, we would make some kind of silly bet based on what we are most known for. So, if Oregon wins we'd get rain and anti-government militias. If the Bucks win I'll be sending over some brown road sludge and unemployment. It should be epic.

And so, 364 days a year Stusigpi is one of my favorite bloggers. Today...he's my mortal enemy. That is unless he's an Oregon State fan. That would be OK I guess. I've got nothing against Oregon State. ( I won't even entertain the possibility that he's some kind of front running SEC fan. No, he seems like way to decent a guy for that).

After the game, Jeff, Beardy, and I can go back to being the 3 best friends that anyone could have.

And, of course, Woody hovers over all.