The card for today is none other than John Henry Johnson 1982 Fleer #321
JJ, as we like to call him around the clubhouse, had a pretty unspectacular career, mostly as a relief pitcher. His biggest accomplishment may be that, in spite of his name, he never evolved in to some sort of lone nut ball assassin. To tell you the truth, I’m not sure I had ever heard of him prior to Grady pointing out this card.
So, I want you to look closely at the card to see if you can figure out what’s so great about it. Go ahead, I’ll wait………..give up yet?..........IT”S THE HAIR. Just look at it. It’s glorious. It’s so uniform, symmetric, and geometrical. If there’s a white Bake McBride out there, it’s probably JJ. On some levels I wish he had his hat on in this card, just to see what it would look like. But, I think that might obscure the full glory of this magnificent coiffeur. No, I think this card is perfect just the way it is.
You’d think that the hair would be enough. You’d be wrong. There’s something else wonderful about this card, and it’s a little more difficult to pick out. Rather than try to explain it, I’d like to try a little demonstration, you know, for the kids. C’mon, It’ll be fun.
OK, I want everyone to stand up…you too Gellman.
Dave, pick yourself up off the floor and quit your crying. There’s 4 more games.
Great, I see Patricia and Lucy are on their feet.
Dayf, you’re excused due to your wonderful package.
OK, now just hang your arms down at your sides. Pull your pants all the way up to your elbows, and walk around like that the rest of the day. Good times, right?
Maybe he would have pitched a little better if his pants were below his belly button. Who knows. What I do know is JJ didn’t supplement his income by working construction. The dude was a superhero! There are a lot worse ways to spend the off season than fighting crime. Hey, maybe that’s why Grady likes this card so much.