Back From Vacation

I'm home....finally. It seemed to take forever to get home. The check engine light was on in the car the whole way, so that was fun too. This will be a short post with a longer post about vacation to come later. I recommend that both be largely ignored as they have little to do with anything.

The first reason for this post is to get back into the swing of things and an updated ACB on all of your blogs.

The second reason is to address a concern of my wife's that proved to be unfounded. My wife was less than thrilled with my last post which basically announced to the world that we were on vacation and our house was open season for all manner of shady characters to come and steal, lounge, party, graffiti, and destroy. It was her opinion that it was unwise to announce our absence over the ether. Maybe she's right.

My counter is this. We have nothing of value to steal. We also have a giant guard dog named Chloe...err...uhhh...Apocalypse Killer (yeah, that's her name), guarding the house in our absence.

I thought it prudent to make a warning here for all of you shady characters who considered breaking into my home to nab my collection of unopened 92 Stadium Club. You may get in, but it's less than certain you would get back out with this vicious killer roaming the premises. Here are some pics to prove it.


This is Apocalypse Killer on high alert:


This is what it would look like to any unsuspecting burglar (ham or otherwise) who made the critical error of entering our abode uninvited.


Just look what happened to this poor bastard as his face is being ripped off. His shirt started out white. By the time AK was pulled off of him he looked like an extra from Raiders of the Lost Ark.


So there you go. It's probably best to just move along if you know what's good for you.

My wife was really only worried about Beardy. I figured he was too busy with the Gint-A-Cuffs to bother with us. I thought we might have some trouble with Captain Canuck (being Canadian and all), but he knew better as well.

Any way, it's good to be home. I will now resume making any and all manner of ridiculous, annoying, and mostly unfunny remarks on all of your wonderful blogs.

Kevin Mitchell - Gold Tooth Mafia

I'm on vacation. Really. I'm in a Marriott timeshare hotel thingy in Hilton Head. Left after work on Thursday, got here on Friday. Been doing a lot of nothing ever since. I've already got some stories to tell, nothing very interesting, but maybe worth reading. That's for later, though.

Right now I'm sort of out of options. Vacations change drastically when you have a kid. No more out until closing time. I'm bored but I'm not tired. It's around 11 and everyone is asleep. I can't turn the light on or I'll wake the kid.

So what should I do? Isn't it obvious? I'll do what any number of you reading this would do in my position. I'll grab my wife's computer and write a short post about Kevin Mitchell and his gold tooth. Duh.





I didn't realize until recently that Kevin Mitchell had a gold tooth. I should also say that I'm just guessing that the tooth is gold. That isn't at all clear in this card. It's merely the most likely material used.

And, that tooth (#9 to be exact) is definitely some sort of metal. It's plain as day in this 1989 Bowman card. The year of this card, Kevin Mitchell had the best year of his entire life. He smashed 47 Hrs. He hit in 125 RBIs (yes, I've said it before. I'm calling them RBIs. With the "s"). This might even be the year he made that over the shoulder barehanded catch.* I can't remember when that was.

*Here's the thing about that catch. Is it really that impressive? If you ever see a highlight real of great catches, that one is always on it. I'm not so sure it should be. I mean, they have a glove for a reason. If he had run to the right spot and gotten himself in better position, he would have been able to use it. Sure, a barehanded catch is fun and rare and all that stuff, but wouldn't most other fielders have just used the glove? I see fans make barehanded catches at every game. And they have to fight off other fans AND not spill their beer and nachos. That's way more impressive. Don't you think?

And, he did it all that year with the gold tooth.

Take a look for yourselves. The photo is grainy because I don't know how to make it not grainy, but it's certainly a metal tooth.

So welcome, Kevin Mitchell. Former MVP, former Indian, highlight real barehanded catcher, and newest member of the Gold Tooth Mafia. It's good to have you aboard.

By the way. Here is a scan of the card after I trimmed it to the size of a regular card so that I could fit it in my little card case to bring on vacation. I highly recommend that you do this with all of your 1989 Bowman. Trust me when I tell you that they don't look any worse, and they may look better after trimming. The back remains unaffected. You just lose a little of the top and bottom borders. I wish I had done this a long time ago. I was coming slowly to the decision to either light all of my 89 Bowman on fire, or sell it all on Craigslist for $1,000. Now I have a third option.