Turk-Off Cabinet Card

Cabinet Card:

OK, I still don't know who won or if this will have any bearing. But, the Cavs have already started so this will be brief.

Here is the wrapper (If anyone cared)



#DPJS Johan Santana 7pts (Cabinet) x 3 (Star) = 21pts




It's not a Perez auto but it's about as good as it gets otherwise. I'd like to thank my esteemed friend, colleague, and opponent...the Beardmeister.

For now I'll just leave you with this:

Welp, that about does her, wraps her all up. Things seem to've worked out pretty well for Beady 'n Motherscratcher. And, it was a pretty good Turk-Off, dontcha think? Made me laugh to beat the band. Parts, anyway. Course, I didn't like seein' those A-Rod cards. But then, I happen to know that there's another Turk-Off on the way. I guess that's the way the whole durned baseball card comedy keeps perpetuatin' itself, down through the generations, westward the wagons, across the sands a time until...Aw,look at me. I'm ramblin' again.

Wal, uh hope you folks enjoyed yourselves. Catch ya further on down the trail.


...say friend, ya got any more a those good Indians refractors?...

Turk-Off Packs 23 & 24

Here it is. It all comes down to this. I've had a lot of fun. It has been a lot more work than I imagined. I'm piggybacking right on the back of my last post so I don't even know who's winning as of this writing.

It's right in the middle of the Cavs game so I probably will be in no position to do anything Turk Off related for a while yet.

Win or lose, I've had a blast.

Pack 23:

#162 Troy Glaus 0pts
#87 David Eckstein 0pts
#20 Alex Rodriguez 1pts (I don't feel right about getting a point for this douche)


#142 Jered Weaver 0pts
#63 Carlos Zambrano SP 8pts (Nice, pulling the big boys out in the end.)


#44 Bill Hall 0pts
#10 Jimmy Rollins 0pts
#49 Brandon Inge 0pts

Pack 23 Total: 9 points

Decent. But will it be decent enough?

Pack 24:

#52 Brandon Wood 0pts
#130 David Ortiz 0pts
#88 Tim Lincecum 0pts
#39 Micah Owings 0pts
#76 Nick Markakis Chrome Black Refractor 89/99 10pts (CBR) x 7 (Markakis) = 70pts (HOLY COW!!!!!!!! A GRAND SLAM IN THE BOTTOM OF THE NINTH!!! Can you believe that I pulled this card of Makakis?!!! Outstanding! No matter what's happened I feel pretty confident about this pack.)



#57 Miguel Montero 0pts
#18 BJ Upton 0pts
#92 Homer Bailey 0pts

Pack 24 Total: 70 points

70 Freakin' points. Wow, what a way to finish. I swear that I just posted these packs as I pulled them. This just happened to be the last one.

I guess that the poll was right. Beardy and I both opened pretty good boxes. Both go t silks.

I can tell you that win or lose, that Black Chrome Markakis is going to find it's way to Beardy. You get a pull like that and are busting things with =the one guy in the world who could appreciate it more than any other...it's just like the stars aligned. Good times. Really good times.

There's still a Cabinet to open but that's really just for show. I'll drop that around midnight or so. It's pretty decent too.

Turk-Off Packs 21 & 22

It's tied up and it's on. I've talked to Beardy and we want to finish this tonight. It will be a miracle but I think we might pull it off. I actually have to work on Saturdays so those first posts today were done between patients. Then it was off to another obligation. I just got home and have about 10 minutes to plow through the rest of these before the Cavs start.

I saw that Beardy has posted the next set already. I don't know what he got. I actually finished yesterday busting the wax yesterday and scanned and added new posts ready to go. SO I know what is coming to a certain extent. It's hard to remember when you do a bunch of posts at a time.

OK, enough chit chat. Let's finish it

Pack 21:

#72 Chris Carpenter 0pts
#133 Jason Bay 0pts
#102 Elijah Dukes 0pts
#76 Nick Markakis 3pts (I've got to say. Beardaslaw Turkinov couldn't have picked a better player to collect. Love this guy. Wish he was on the Tribe.)_


#113 Randy Johnson 0pts
#158 Jeff Kent Chrome 3pts (Every one loves Jaggoff)


#132 Jamie Vermilyea 0pts
#26 Frank Thomas 0pts

Pack 21 Total: 6 points

Not strong. I don't feel good about this one. Looks like a let down after my mighty triumph. Getting Kent Chrome isn't enough bad karma to cancel out the Makakis sweetness.

Pack 22:

#137 Jason Schmidt 0pts
#99 Dustin Moseley 0pts
#91 Delmon Young 0pts
#34 Mickey Mantle 1pts (Will wonders never cease?)


#159 Johan Santana 2pts


#109 The Captain Checklist 0pts
#118 Hideki Matsui -1pts


#184 Matt Holliday 0pts

Pack 22 Total: 2 points

Not good times. I fear I've taken all of my momentum and given it all back to Beardy.

But have no fear. The Bearded One was the unanimous Hansel on the poll. That makes me Zoolander. I have one more pack to shoot Blue Steel and pull my underwear out of my ass. I know what's coming. I'll set the next one to drop between 9:30 and 10.

See you then.

Turk-Off Packs 19 & 20

Beardy is throwing these posts up at an accelerated rate. He understandably wants to get this done with before the weekend is over to bask in all of his glory. Apparently, Bready and the boys down at the crime lab will be working in 12 hour shifts all next week leaving precious little time for turking off.

Do you want to know what I think? (Of course you do. Who wouldn't want to know what I think?) I think that the Bearded Wonder is starting to crack under the pressure of leading this thing since the early going. This is his lame attempt to "run out the clock" so to speak, as if there is less chance for me to catch fire the sooner it ends.

Will Wonderbeard's plan succeed? Or, will I stage an incredible Cleveland style comeback that will be talked about for ages? Only time will tell, but I'm hoping for an exciting finish.

Pack 19:

#115 Prince Fielder 0pts
#170 Hanley Ramirez 2pts (Hanley Ramirez, the fantasy titan , envy of all roto players. Thank you for the 2 points.)


#111 Fransisco Rodriguez 0pts
#117 Mickey Mantle 1pts (Mickey mantle again. I swear I've pulled 39 Mantles in this box. I'll count them up in the end. It will be a lot, but it won't be nearly as many as it feels like.)


#137 Jason Schmidt Chrome Refractor 5pts (Like Beardly McGoo said, "What happened to this guy?" Never did quite live up to his rep. I can't help it, though. I still get a little excited when I see one of his cards. kind of like Gregg Jeffries or Todd Van Poppel. I guess it isn't fair to lump him in with Van Poppel. Schmidt still had some really good seasons.)


#168 The Streak Checklist 0pts
#116 Vladdy Goes Yard Checklist 0pts
#14 Ivan Rodriguez 0pts

Pack 19 Total: 8 points

8 points is pretty strong here and is just enough to pull out a squeaker over Beardmeister. Can the Infamous Scratch Man climb his way back in?

Pack 20:

#141 Kevin Kouzmanoff 0pts
#186 Yovani Gallardo 0pts
#95 Derek Jeter 1pts (Did I mention how much I'm sick of pulling Yankees...even if they do give me a point?)


#167 Mickey Mantle 1pts (Once again I am Beardy's total lack of surprise. It is a big conspiracy to make people hate Mickey Mantle...and people shouldn't hate Mickey Mantle. I'm getting close, though. If these weren't worth a point I would be going out of my mind.)


#15 Ichiro 0pts
#TRP23 Benjamin Harrison +5pts (President) x2 (Harrison) = 10pts (How about Big Ben Harrison coming though in the clutch?! A double pointer Pres! That's what I like about the Turk-Off. Half of our rules make no sense at all, but I'll take it.)


#80 Craig Biggio 0pts
#161 Trevor Hoffman 0pts

Pack 20 Total: 12 points

A clean sweep for the Motherscratcher (or Fatheritcher, as seems to be starting to catch on). How about that? Coming down to the wire we are now neck and neck.

Buckle your seatbelts. It might be a wild ride!

Turk-Off Packs 17 & 18

I like to write these up before I know what Beardy got. I like the surprise better. I have to admit, though, that I just snuck a peek at his post and I dodged another bullet. We will once again be splitting these 2 packs but it could have easily been another sweep for the Bearded Wonder if either one of us had pulled the packs out of the box in opposite order.

Here's how it shakes out on this one.

Pack 17:

#126 JD Drew -1pts (What a typical way to start a pack. Another JD Drew card. Will the horror ever end?)


#100 Gary Sheffield 0pts
#114 Gary Matthews 0pts
#24 Akinori Iwamura 0pts
#45 Billy Butler 0pts
#40 Chipper Jones Chrome 3pts (I keep feeling even worse that we did not include Chipper in the Major Stars list. To tell the truth, that list was thrown together without much thought at all (the way I live most of my life). There are a lot of players who were left off that should be on there. But, when the checklist is only about 200 players, most of them are going to be very good. Still, Chipper got the shaft. It won't happen again. Apologies to the Commish.)


#176 Turning Two Checklist 0pts
#53 Swiping Second Checklist 0pts

Pack 17 Total: 2 points

A weak pack when I needed it. You can't win them all and the worst thing I could do there would be to lose 17-16 instead of 17-2. I would feel bad if Beardy had lost after pulling a sweet Vlad Chrome Refractor. I'd get over it, I'm sure.

Pack 18:

#31 Andrew Miller 0pts
#29 Alex Gordon 0pts
#70 David Wright 2pts (I know there has been a lot of gnashing of Dayf's teeth over the inclusion of Wright but not Chipper. The only explanation I have is that Wright is young and Chipper is an old old man. Either way, I'm glad to have the 2 points.)


#TRRDWW Dontrelle Willis Relic 10pts (About the worst relic you could possibly pull. Although, I should say that Dontrelle pitched very well in a recent game. I have no idea if he's pitched since then and I'm way too lazy to look it up. What I will say is I'm pulling for the guy. Baseball is better when Dontrelle is pitching well...except against the Indians.)


#156 Travis Hafner 1pts (Pronk should be back in the lineup after this weekend. Finger's crossed.)


#86 David DeJesus 0pts
#145 Jim Thome 0pts

Pack 18 Total: 13 points

Dontrelle and a couple of Yankees (Beardy's this time) helped me pick up a pack here to stay clinging to any hope of pulling this thing out. With 6 packs left I need to win 4 just to tie. I think I still have hope of that. I have to play for the tie and send it into overtime and wrap things up with the total tally, which I'm also losing. Who knows...maybe I'll pull a Perez auto Cabinet. Wouldn't that be something?

Everyone knows that us Cleveland boys have a special knack for pulling things out in the end.

Turk-Off Packs 15 & 16

Beardy is still in the lead even though I pulled that Santana Ad Back. You can still only win a pack once. I'm starting to feel the pressure. I feel like I've already pulled my share of Yankees and I should be clear of that now. Let's hope.

Pack 15:

#85 Danny Putnam 0pts
#125 Michael Young 0pts
#60 Mariano Rivera -1pts (So much for steering clear of the Yankees. I got a comment from Drew, a Yankee fan, talking about how great this box is for Yankees.)


#107 Mickey Mantle 1pts (At least this Yankee gets me a point instead of takes it away.)


#96 Derek Lee 0pts
#7 Mickey Mantle SP 8 pts (SP) x 3 (Star) /2 (Yankee) = 12 pts (It seems like I get at least 2 Yankees in every pack. Thank god we made the Mantles worth something. It could have easily gone the other way and I'd be in negative points for the entire box. The great thing about this one is it's the SP. I'm more relieved than happy. If I would have pulled every freakin Mantle card in the set twice but didn't pull the SP, well, someone would have gotten a strongly worded letter.)


#161 Trevor Hoffman
#176 Turning Two Checklist 0pts

Pack 15 Total: 12 points

Turned out to be a good pack despite the Yankees. It's not unbeatable but I like my chances with this one.

Pack 16:

#175 Lance Berkman 0pts
#105 Phil Hughes -1pts (What, am I supposed to be surprised? If there was one thing I was hoping for in this box it was the get Phil Hughes...twice.)


#144 Jermaine Dye 0pts
#5 Cole Hamels 0pts
#178 Magglio Ordonez 0pts
#53 Swiping Two Checklist 0pts
#57 Miguel Montero 0pts
#18 BJ Upton 0pts

Pack 16 Total: -1 points

Here we go. Another negative pack. Now I've got to hope that Beardy's first pack is not great or I will find myself down by 4. That would be pretty much insurmountable at this point methinks.

I like any excuse to write methinks.

We'll have to see what Beardy got, but my stomach is in knots. Well, not really, but I'd like to have a chance. That's all I ask...a chance at the end.

Turk-Off Packs 13 & 14

I'm playing from behind for the second time in this inaugural Turk-Off. Beardy is ahead by 1 pack, and since we both may have exhausted our hits the lead may be too much to overcome. I will not lose hope, however, and Beardy has shown a propensity to open really really terrible packs at times.

We shall overcome!

Before we get to the packs, another few polls have closed:

The best 3 pulls from packs 1-4 are the Rolen Relic, Santana Chrome, and Pettite Chrome. I think the first 2 are no brainers but Pettite over the Helton SP? Really. I'm disappointed.

I forget what the second poll question was because I accidentally erased it. It must not have been too compelling.

The third question leaves little room for doubt. Beardy is in fact the son of a motherless goat. Sorry. Don't blame the messenger Beardy.

On to the packs

Pack 13:

#122 Roy Oswalt 0pts
#154 Travis Buck 0pts
#160 Ivan Rodriguez 0pts
#110 Dice-K 0pts (Really starting this pack off gangbusters)
#150 Ken Griffey Jr 2pts (Finally some points)


#159 Johan Santana Ad Back 8pts (AD Back) x 3 (star) = 24 pts (WooHoo!!, I new I had to be getting one of these eventually and I hoped it was a star. Now I have to hope that Beardy wastes some decent pulls, but not quite good enough to overtake me. I'm back in it baby!)



#157 Jake Peavy 0pts
#13 Play At The Plate Checklist 0pts

Pack 13 Total: 26 points

How about that. A nice hit AND no Yankees! Doesn't get much better than that.

Pack 14:

#169 Justin Verlander 0pts
#163 Troy Tulowitzki 0pts
#64 Miguel Tejada 0pts
#172 Kelvin Jiminez -1pts (Well, it was fun not getting negative points while it lasted)


#TRP16 Abe Lincoln 5pts (Nice. My man Abe. I might get lucky and pull this pack out if Beardy opens a dud. He already pulled George. For my money Abe and George are the best president pulls, although we get more points for Polk or Harrison. I guess because Washington and Lincoln always get all the glory and the other 2 guys could use a little pub.)


#65 Mike Cameron 0pts
#67 Chase Wright -1pts (It's a big conspiracy. That's what I think)


#109 The Captain Checklist 0pts (Since it's a Yankee it might be worth negative points, but since it's Jeter it might be worth one. However, it's a Checklist so I don't think its anything. I'll change it if necessary)

Pack 14 Total: 3 points

So many Yankees. So many. They are really coming down hard on me. 5 points might win a pack. 3 points not likely. I guess we'll see. my guess is Beardy gets 4 points in pack 14.

Turk-Off Packs 11 & 12

What a wild ride those last 2 packs were. Good Times. I have to say I'm very impressed so far with Beardy's overall Turking Off skills. He's managed to pull out wins over my 2 biggest hits. I'm starting to worry. I didn't think he'd be able to hang with me at such a high Turking level, but he has proven himself a worthy Faqin adversary.

The results of the first poll are in and it indicates that the majority of you are just happy viewing the Turk-Off and indicate that we are all winners. It's people like you who came up with the "everybody gets a trophy" stupidity that is pervading today's youth sports and culture dooming us to a future of entitled brats who are unwilling and unable to achieve. I weep for the future. A few of you did vote for the terrorists so I suppose that's something.

Now let's gather up all of the other grown men and women and look at more baseball cards!

Pack 11:

#2 Dontrelle Willis 0pts
#36 Tadahito Iguchi 0pts
#119 Hideki Okajima 0pts
#4 John Maine 0pts
#173 Roger Clemens -1pts (Please, just 1 pack without a Yankee. Is that too much to ask?)


#130 David Ortiz Chrome Refractor 5pts (Isn't Ortiz a major star? He hit a HR this year.)


#8 Serving Up Strikes Checklist 0pts
#153 Andy Laroche 0pts

Pack 11 Total: 4 points

What a boring pack. Even with the Chrome Refractor. Maybe I have Silk withdrawl.

Pack 12:

#32 Andrew Jones 0pts
#33 Josh Beckett 0pts
#98 Doug Slaten 0pts
#84 Dan Uggla 0pts
#61 Carlos Delgado 0pts
#ARHR325 ARod Road to 500 HR #325: -3pts (There it is. You knew this was coming. What a horrible set. I'm pissed off that it took up the space of what could have been a base card. Maybe those two were right on the pole. Maybe the terrorists do win.)


#13 Play at the Plate Checklist 0pts (I kind of like these checklists. Cool action paintings. I'll scan it so this pack has something decent to look at.)


#80 Craig Biggio 0pts

Pack 11 Total: -3 points

I guess if you're going to eat crap on one of these packs you it's better to do it this way and not soil other potentially good pulls and packs.


Looks like Beardy swept this one. I made the first pack close, but the second pack was like Dresden. I still have time. Lot of packs left. Lot of packs left.

Turk-Off Packs 9 & 10

OK, the Cavs game is over. On to the really important things after that diversion. I'm calling this the "Live To Fight Another Day" edition of the Turk of. First because of the series extending win by everybody's favorite Cleveland basketball team, and the fact that Beardy pulled a major hit (Miguel Cabrera Ad Back) form his pack. I'm just trying to sneak out of here with a push and "live to fight another day."

On a side note, I just want to say how lucky I feel to be able to watch Lebron play here. That doesn't mean I think we have the series locked up or anything stupid like that. I just mean I've never seen anyone quite like him...in any sport, and I know how fortunate I am to see it. I stood right next to him under the Q last year after a game, but that's a story for another day.

Let's see what I can pull off. I'll need a shot like Lebron made in game 2 to pull this one off.

Pack 9:

# 9 Josh Beckett 0pts
# 98 Doug Slaten 0pts
# 84 Dan Uggla 0pts (Looking like he's about to boot a grounder in an All Star game. Too soon?)
# 61 Carlos Delgado 0pts
# 85 Danny Putnam 0pts
# C10? Josh Beckett Silk 46/99 20pts (I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I'm still going to lose the pack, but who cares right? This card is fantastic. Even better in real life than I imagined. One of the coolest cards I've ever seen. After pulling this does it really matter that I'm going to lose the pack? Looking back these should have been worth more. I wouldn't trade this for 10 SPs. Just an awesome awesome card.)


#38 Tim Hudson 0pts
#48 Prince Albert Checklist 0pts

Pack Total 20 points

I may have lost the pack, but I feel like I won the war on this one. I'm positively giddy right now. The Cavs one and I pull this. I cannot wait to get it scanned in and posted.

How crazy is it that I've lost both packs that I pulled my big hits?

Pack 10:

#25 Albert Pujols 2pts


#68 Chien-Ming Wang -1pts (Wang having a 35.00 ERA or whatever it is almost makes this pull worth it. Almost.)


#120 Manny Ramirez 0pts (Another guy we left off the Major Stars list. I guess you have to draw the line somewhere and Manny's cuts are too fresh.)
#55 Josh Hamilton 0pts (but still a nice pull.)
#159 Johan Santana Chrome 3pts Chrome x3 Star = 9pts (I was starting to worry I might lose this one too.)


#118 Hideki Matsui -1pts (What do you know. Another Yankee. I'm Beardy's total lack of surprise.)


#184 Matt Holliday 0pts
#157 Jake Peavy 0pts

Pack 10 Total: 9 points

That was quietly an outstanding pack. Pujols, Ramirez, Hamilton, Santana, Holliday, Peavy...really good pack. Of course the only thing screwing it up was the Yankees. Typical.

Looks like another split. Although I think Beardy has to feel pretty good about it after winning another pack when I get a big hit.

Damn, that silk is kick ass. I don't even care that I lost. I can't stop talking about it.