Monday, April 12, 2010

Tribecards From Long Ago: Oddibe Edition

Remember way back over the summer when David from Tribecards was sending out cards for no particular reason other than...he's David and he's awesome? Well, I'm not quite finished with him. This is the the next installment of cards that he sent me. You can see my other hilarious write ups here. And here. And here

Yeah, David sends out a lot of stuff. Here's some more of it. (And there's one more after this too)

Jeffrey Hammonds 2001 Black Diamond

Look at how cool this card is. Black Diamond. I gotta get me some more of those. The only problem is I'm going to have the Kiss song playing over and over again in my head for the foreseeable future. I guess it could be worst. It could be that "Your beautiful" song that makes me want to punch something.

(Holy Cow! I forgot that Peter Criss sings this.)

Oddibe McDowell 1986 Donruss

You know it's a shame that people just don't seem to be naming their kids "Oddibe" anymore. I wonder why that is? It's a perfectly good name.

I love this cards becaue it reminds me that I need to start a set featuring players with diastemas

Brett Butler 1991 Stadium Club

I loved Brett Butler when he was on the tribe, almost as much a Tony Bernezard. In hindsight I wish I would have picked Butler seein-as-how Tony turned out to be something of a D-Bag.

I'm glad I had the occasion to use the phrase seein-as-how. It always makes me laugh. I have a friend who would proofread papers for some of her friends when she was in college. She once told me that she proofread a paper with that exact phrase in it. In college. Let me repeat that so as to make sure you are understanding this correctly. A college student wrote a paper with "seein-as-how" in it.

For example, one might say something to the effect of "Watson and Crick are important figures in the history of genetics seein-as-how they first came up with the double helix." Yes, one might say this...if one was a complete moron.

Anyway, I always laugh.

Tony Stewart 2009 Press Pass

I know as much about Nascar as Edinboro students know about english. I wanted to show you this card to let you know that I'm at least 63.8% sure that Tony Stewart is the guy on the left. I know I should know this seein-as-how he's one of the more popular drivers, but I don't.

And, I don't care.

Wally Joyner 1992 Studio

Look at Wally.He looks like he's 15 years old there. Dude could hit, though. The back of his card informs up that he likes Letterman. So, Mr. Joyner is welcome in my house anytime.

Russ Davis 1999 Skybox Thunder

The back of this card contains (for no explicable reason) the phrasing:

"You got more flow than Rockefeller has dough.
And if y'all didn't know before, now you know.
You're all that, and mo'."

Now, I must apologize. The more posts I do the less I try to curse (regardless of the fact that it is one of the few endeavors at which I truly excel). I think it's a crutch in a lot of cases. I especially try to avoid it in these posts that are in appreciation for other bloggers who frown upon that type of thing.

But, in this case, I feel like I have no other acceptable way to state the obvious question: "What the fuck is that all about?"

Marquis Grissom 1994 Donruss Studio

I love the Studio sets because of all of the comic gold on the back in the form of personal information. Marquis Grissom has about the most boring info I could imagine. The most interesting thing he could think of is that his hobbies are fishing and drawing.

I can't think of anything remotely funny to say about that.

Dante Bichette 1993 Upper Deck

I don't know if this is some kind of special subset or something and I'm too lazy to look it up. All I know is that it looks like every trapper keeper I ever owned, so it's all good in my book.

On the front of the card he's performing his old "hide the fungo bat handle" trick that used to keep Vinny Castilla in stitches. Don Baylor never did figure it out.

Rance Mulliniks 1987 Donruss

I'm still dumfounded by the fact that a dude named Rance, who looks like this, somehow had a 16 year Major League career.


Les Norman 1994 Upper Deck Minors

Les Norman was a Royals Top Prospect. His Baseball Reference page lists his position as Outfielder and Pinch Runner. Think about that. I'll come back to that.

In '95 and '96 Les made it to the big leagues for 73 glorious games. In those games he OPSed a dazzling .466.

To be fair about the whole thing we won't use OPS. Les never claimed to have much power. We'll use OBP. His career .275 is only slightly worse than mine. You might say that .275 is better than .000, but I beg to differ. Les made a hell of a lot more outs than I ever did.

"Well, he's a pinch runner. He let's others get on base for him." You might be thinking. I would counter with Les's grand total of 1 career stolen base.

But all of this is besides the point. The point, as I alluded to earlier, is that Les's position is listed as pinch runner (along with outfielder). My question is this:

What does it say about the state of the Royal's organization when One of their "top prospects" (according to Upper Deck) plays "pinch runner"? Now, who out there is surprised at how well the Royals have performed that last 20 years or so?
Bob Lemon 2005 Upper Deck Classics

That's Fall of Famer Bob Lemon to you, bub.

What strikes me about this card is the hat. Apparently Cleveland couldn't decide whether to go with Chief Wahoo of the "C". So they took the worst possible solution and went with both at the same time. This is the ridiculous final product.

I wish they would have gone with the "C" and let the Chief slowly fade into bolivian. I wish that now, actually. It's never too late.
Hiram Bocachica 1994 Siganture Rookies Auto

I have no idea who this kid is, and I've never heard of this set. But, he played all over...the field and the country. A lot of positions and a lot of cities.

He also signed 7,750 of these cards. That's a lot, man. With only 18 left by the time he got to this one I'm surprised he could move his hand at all, much less make a fairly legible auto.

So, here's to you Hiram. May your helmet always be so gargantuan that you can barely swing.

And here's to you, David. The appreciation of the free cards you sent me probably close to a year ago has finally come to a close. I knew I could do it.

I love them all, dude.

*This post was originally started on 9/27/09. How about that. If anyone thinks they can procrastinate like me...bring it on, man.

1 comment:

Captain Canuck said...

I would show you how better at procrastinating I am than you, but I'm tired now.

Maybe tomorrow...